The Heart of a Mother

The most important gift Our Lady has given me was the heart of a mother.  When I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter, Annie Elizabeth, I didn't know what I was going to do.  I was 27, single and I didn't know what others would think or say.  I was very active in our Church. I made a mistake.  Your life can be forever changed in one mistake.  I hid it from friends and family as much as I could.  I went up to Nashville for a retreat and told my friends at the convent.  I truly thought that they might pass judgement on me.  I must say that my true friends never passed judgement.  One Sister told me that she didn't know which was worse, my getting pregnant or her falling asleep in morning meditation.  Another Sister told me that the Lord knew everything that would happen to me, my joys as well as my faults, my sins, yet He loved me so much, He created me anyway.  These Sisters helped me to accept myself.  I was still a child of God and so was my baby.  I had to learn to forgive myself.  If God who is God, could forgive me, than I needed to forgive myself. 

 One Sister went on a pilgrimage to Medjugorje.  She told me she prayed for us while in the presence of Our Lady for me to develop and nurture a Mother's Heart.  I found that peace.  I knew whatever happened, I was tucked into the Immaculate Heart of Mary.  


I can't help but think about how scared Our  Lady must have been.  She trusted in God and said, "Let it be done unto me according to Your Word, O Lord."  I had to say the same.  True abandonment to Divine Providence.