All I Ever Have To Be

Another favorite Amy Grant song is called "All I Ever Have To Be."

Lyrics:

When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavy on my head,
And the thoughtful words of health and hope
Have all been nicely said.
But I'm still hurting,
Wondering if I'll ever be
The one I think I am.  I think I am.

Then you gently re-remind me
That you've made me from the first,
And the more I try to be the best
The more I get the worst.
And I realize the good in me,
Is only there because of who you are.  Who you are...

And all I ever have to be
Is what you've made me.
Any more or less would be a step
Out of your plan.
As you daily recreate me,
Help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do
What I can find.

And all I ever have to be
All I have to be
All I ever have to be
Is what you've made me.

The Circle of Life

Today is a significant day in my life in many ways.

It is the anniversary of my First Holy Communion.

Jesus comes to offer Himself in the form of Bread and Wine.

His Body, His Blood, His Soul, His Divinity. Wow,

What a gift He brings.  Life Giving.

It is also the day that I said Hello and Goodbye to

 Michael Paul.

He would be 20 years old today. 

 I will never forget how it felt to hold him

for most of the four hours the Lord gave to us.

What consolation I have to know that the

only thing he ever felt in this life was LOVE.

 How much I wanted to hold him forever.

And I do.  Just within my heart!

This morning I went with my Assistant, Maria, to her ultrasound.

 What a wonderful gift to me. I took her to her first ultrasound in February.  

She was only 6 weeks along then.

Her doctor was amazing.  He took us into his office,

where he had the ultrasound on a big flat screen.  

He showed us the tiny baby, it was the size of a bean.

 He told her that he was so excited for her and the new life within.

 I was so impressed that he called this little life a baby, not "tissue" or even "fetus."

He explained that the life had begun.  He played the sound of the baby's heartbeat.  

What a beautiful day and celebration of Life..

This morning was no different except that we played peek-a-boo.

You could see the heart beating,

you could see the arms and legs,

the spine, and the most beautiful little face.

After some pushing on her tummy, the tech paused the screen

so we could see that she is having a Boy!

Maria will be 20 weeks on Friday.

What a gift from above.  20 weeks... 20 years.

It was exciting to see her as she saw her

baby boy's face for the first time!

He weighs 12 ounces now.

Only God could create such a miracle.

He says He knits us, in His own image,

within our mother's womb.

He allows some women to co-create with Him.

What an honor...  to think that He would become

Creator and Creation.

He wanted His Son to come into this world

through the body of a woman... "womb-man"

Thank you, Lord for this little baby boy.

May he always be a reflection of You...

Spiritual Mothers

Even though I'm walking through
The valley of the shadow

I will hold tight to the hand of Him

Whose Love will comfort me

And when all hope is gone

And I've been wounded in the battle

He is all the strength that I will ever need

He will carry me.

Even though I feel so lonely

Like I've never been before

You never said it would be easy...

But You said You'd see me through the storm.

 I'll never forget that I attended a Jesu Caritas Retreat on my first Mother's Day.

The homily was very inspiring.

He spoke of how the Mother/Baby connection to the Creator and Creation.

  What a miracle we are allowed to participate in. 

Before we left, Sister called me into the front parlor.

  She made me promise not to cry.

 She reached behind the door and pulled out 2 roses.

 One tied with a red bow, the other a pink bow. 

 She said to me, "I think all Mothers deserve roses on Mother's Day.

  The rose with the red bow symbolized my Mom. 

The rose with the pink bow, symbolized Annie. 

What a wonderful and sincere gift. 

You do not have to conceive a child within your womb to be a Mother.