My Walk with Jesus & Mary during Lent

I started Lent truly with Our Lord this year.  I had to be admitted to the hospital with a blood clot in my left lung.  They had found a few blood clots a few months ago, but this is a new finding.  There is also a mass blocking the large artery. The game plan is that I take Lovenox shots in my abdomen every day for 2 months. Then they would do another arteriogram. They have to get rid of the blood clot to get a biopsy of the mass. They sent me home.  I had to go back to the ER as my chest was hurting and trouble breathing.  They stuck me 15 times trying to get an IV in. The ER physician put a large (14 gauge) needle in my Juggler vein.  They did a VQ test.  It showed no changes. They send me home, I am back 2 days later, then they readmitted me to the hospital.  They did surgery and put in a Portacath Central Line.  So no more problems getting a vein.  There is a terrible risk of getting an infection and I have had MRSA 5 times, so it is in my body.  I just have to be careful.

They are talking about putting me on TPN, nutrition in the vein and give my stomach some time to heal. I have had problems with my feeding tube.  So don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know who holds tomorrow!

The Sorrowful Mother, Heart to Heart

O Mary, I reflect on your life with Jesus 

with love and reverence...

At the Annunciation, you said "yes"...

 At the Nativity,

when you nestled Him at your breast...

I love to meditate on all 

you must have taught Him...

At the Wedding Feast at Cana, 

you called Him forth

to His first miracle

and into His public ministry...

How was I to know when I asked you 

to unite my heart with yours...

You would show me 

the sword that pierced your Immaculate Heart...

as they Crucified your Son 

and placed Him back in your hands...

you would ask me 

to place mine there too?

In Loving Memory of

Annie Elizabeth

7-21-1989

Michael Paul

5-10-1991

Beneath the Cross

The Blessed Mother had to bear the pain of seeing her only Son, Our Lord, Jesus Christ beaten, stripped, mocked, and nailed to a Cross.  One of the most touching scenes in The Passion of the Christ, was Mary trying to get through the crowds to her son and seeing him fall.  She flashed back to when a young Jesus was running and fell.  This time she couldn't just kiss His boo boo's. She had to endure the road with Him, and stand at the foot of His Cross, watching and feeling the blood trickle down.  

When Jesus was dying on the Cross, He spoke to His Mother

and His beloved friend, John.

"Woman behold thy son.  Son behold thy Mother."

Jesus gave the Church a Loving Mother.

Jesus gave me a Loving Mother.

I made a Consecration to Our Blessed Mother many years ago.

Mary taught me how to stand below the Cross.  She was standing right there beside me as I stood beneath the Cross,

 when I awoke one morning, with blood flowing down.

She was there with me when the doctor

could not find Annie's heartbeat.

She was born still at 24 weeks. 

Just the week before we were in the same room, 

on that same screen, we looked in awe

as we caught a glimpse of our little Annie sucking her thumb.

How could this be happening?  

Was I being punished for one mistake?

How was I going to say Goodbye,

when I didn't get to say Hello?

This is not the plans I had in mind.  

Somehow, I knew that I could rest under her mantle. 

She understood.  She knew my pain. 

What was the first thing that she did

after they took Jesus down from the Holy Cross?

They placed Him in her arms.

Just as they did when Jesus was born.

That is what all Mother's want.

From the Annunciation to the Crucifixion 

Mary was there.

       

My Walk with Our Lady

My walk with Mary began as a child. Being raised Catholic, Mary was a part of our lives, just as much as the Trinity, God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. When I was 18, my own Mother died, I turned to Our Lady to be my Mother in a real way.

I entered the convent at 19. I was a Postulant with the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia in Nashville, Tennessee. They are more commonly known as the "Nashville Dominicans." You can check them out here: http://www.nashvilledominican.org/. I was drawn to their Community by their zeal and particularly their devotion to Our Lady. I remember the first time I went for a retreat. I truly thought I had transcended into Heaven. It was actually as though I was looking through a window into Heaven. The sounds of the Sisters chanting the Liturgy of the Hours. I had never

experienced anything like that before. I also remember the reverence, the bowing at the Glory Be. The most special time was spent in Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament. I didn't even know what that was until then. They also had the Dominican practice of singing Compline and the devotion to Our Lady, by singing the Salve Regina

    

and the O Lumen, to St. Dominic. It was their "goodnight" to Our Lord, Our Lady and the Light in St. Dominic.

I came home and announced that I had found what I thought Our Lord was calling me to. I entered the Convent on the Feast of Our Lady's Crowning as the Queen of Heaven and Earth. I loved my time there. It was like gaining a family. I was not called to be a teacher. It became clear to me, that I needed to leave and return home to care for my beloved father. He had Parkinson's Disease as well as developing Alzheimer's. Believe me, it was more painful to leave than to have entered. I am so thankful for my time there. I knew Christ had called me to be His Own, however, He had other ideas for me. I prayed and discerned that He wanted me to start a Vocation Support Group.